We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
