I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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