I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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