Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
