i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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