I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
