haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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