You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
