Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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