It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
