I wish my penis had an off switch
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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