i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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