That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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