Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
