I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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