I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Found the puke drawer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize