And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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