just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
