More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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