filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
