You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
