just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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