i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
