Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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