god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
