we made out on top of his cat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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