A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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