Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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