You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
