After last night, I could never be a politician.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
