the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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