i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
