don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
