you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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