I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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