someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
