Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
