They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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