Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
