I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
