he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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