Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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