Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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