Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
