it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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