He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
