You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
