YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together