you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
