This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
