my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
