Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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