There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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