Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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