Duck Duck Cougar?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
