we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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