so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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