i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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