Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
